Sunshine, Sound and Swahili
Part Two: Life as a gift, death as an awakening
Now that I’d caught my breath and dusted off the cobwebs, ‘Twende!’, I thought to myself. It’s go-time.
But, since I’ve found a sense of inner peace and all of that ‘spiritual enlightenment’ stuff has finally landed (thank fuck), it’s 3-2-1 go in a very slow and smooth kinda way. That is until interfacing with the world at large presents people and personality challenges once again - we the people are somewhat predictable creatures, aren’t we?
In terms of my blog, I’d written Part One - Roots, Rasclaats and Rainsticks as a way to process part of what I went through, because with practice, I’ve found that releasing words from this here vessel greatly helps my psyche. And I titled it Part One, as I was sure there would be something to follow it up soon enough, while I continued on this funny journey of life.
During the last chapter of living unintentionally as a nomad, at first, overcoming some severe universal lessons, there were only a few days where I’d feel in the aligned headspace to gather my thoughts and write about them. Sidenote, I give sincere thanks to the kind and generous souls who supported me along the 66 different pit-stops I made across the UK and Ireland during that period spanning a year and a half.
I’d find a few random words to jot down after meditation, as elemental messages came through the ether (yes, we hear from and speak with the trees, animals and other spirits in my soul group), but to truly feel in flow for creating, I personally need a lot of space away from people, comfort and my native physical reality before fully tapping into the ancient cavern inside of me.
With that said, writing generally seemed like a soggy and stale canvas on my side, hungry to be splattered, sprayed and stroked with a colourful brush. I pondered a heading ‘One year on, reflections of how my mind, body and soul responded to impending danger and a near death experience (or two)’, but decided to myself, nah, been there, done that.
And then, there was another one along the lines of ‘Decoding our wounds through a trauma-informed approach to life post NDE and impending danger,’ but I scrapped that too, mainly due to the fact that once I’ve transmuted what I need to from darkness to light, I’m mostly a happy-go-lucky piss-taker, who likes to bring people together to share love, joy and truth, even if I am slightly more solitary these days - an extroverted introvert, let’s say.
I did also have the idea to recount the full story (names, people and places) of what ensued beyond those final words in Part One - of rewinding back to reflect and revisit what went ‘wrong’. But, to be honest, why would I do that anymore? It serves no purpose to continue to give our precious energy to anything that we’re done with, that we’ve overcome and that we’ve outgrown.
Usually, my innate intention is not to engage in endless cycles of doom and gloom because of what we go through, or the events that have occurred since 2020 weirdness, as that would be a waste of life on this incredible, strange and beautiful planet of ours.
Pole pole (slowly but surely), we arrive at a moment where we gently seal things away in that little metaphorical, mental chest of wooden drawers, with our life’s wonderful knick-knacks and move the fuck on, without apologies or accountability from anyone else. All is past and all is forgiven, even if not forgotten.
In short, what I now needed was far away from what I knew. And, after many years of trial and error, I feel this is how I learn best. As soon as I touch down somewhere new, I breathe and live that place as best as my soul allows, and as far and wide as I’m welcomed by the land and its people.
I’ve come to realise, through shedding layers of insecurity and finding my inner voice, that this soul of mine is a wild, brave and intrinsically nomadic one, and has been the underlying reason as to why I’d previously shaped my life around the way I prefer to live and wander, even though I was city bound and in the corporate world for a while. It was my intuition leading me forwards, way before I realised what it actually was.
Recently, I saw a quote written by the esteemed Rumi, Sufi mystic and poet that said ‘As you start to walk on the way, the way appears’, and it reminded me of all my travel adventures so far, and how much they’ve topped up my cup over this lifetime. I don’t mean a holiday, per say, I tend not to do those really, especially as many of us are creating a life that we don’t need a big break from. Instead, we shape and bend our reality through intentional and conscious living in our desired locations, supporting the local community and economy in ways individually available to us.
Those Sufi words also made me think of an elder friend of mine, who’s bravely walked the Camino de Santiago in Spain a few times now (before it was fashionable and digitised), overcoming great mental and physical challenge along the way, yet rebirthing after every separate pilgrimage. Hiking even at 80 years old, this solitary dedication, or devotion, to knowing thyself is something I admire and a path I feel very few of us truly innerstand.
That being said, I did later see a video that almost contradicted Rumi’s words, something along the lines of ‘when you walk on your path, the path disappears’, because we surrender and lean into the unknown, trusting higher self and divine energies at play to guide us into our life’s true purpose. This small example of the law of polarity did make me chuckle a bit, because to every this, there is a that, and to every yes there is a no, somewhere in the multiverse.
To be honest, I don’t believe we need to seek our life’s purpose. I believe as we work on healing our mind, body and soul, and heightening our connection to nature and our ancestry, we begin to ignite greater self awareness and invite moments (and guides) that reveal our purpose and mission to us along the way.
What’s bizarre, is that now I know myself as an (heyoka) empath - we’re sensitive sponges to the energies around us, places we stay, books we read, films we watch and music we listen to - these here words you’re reading, actually started to work themselves through my fingers straight after I’d seen a film about a writers retreat in North Africa. And then, more letters came following a meditation with my desert rose stone, which I’d purchased on one of my trips to Morocco a few years ago.
Basically, this next round of writing was a bit like the way in which Part One had been born, after a visit to Calabash Literary Festival in St Elizabeth, Jamaica - a proper energetic kick up the bum to get back into my personal power and unique creativity. After all, energy is infectious and we do benefit from being selective about the environments we spend our time in.
Such universal prompts may appear strange to some, but not listening to them has got me into trouble before, as I’ve talked about, so I willingly accept my path as a humble servant to the divine forces at play, however uncomfortable. We all have the opportunity to listen to and watch the synchronicities that present themselves and that we’re also totally capable of magnetising into our own reality. We can follow these instructions blindly and with hesitation or with absolute trust and eternal gratitude, but either way, to our delight or detriment, the universe will show us her powerful magic. Especially, if we believe it to be so.
Whether anyone finds value in these words other than I, is not the point. The point is expression. The point is to feel, to allow, to surrender and to live freely - in whatever ‘modern’ capacity we allow ourselves to believe that this is what we’re truly meant to be doing. And I know I believe deeply. Perhaps, I believe on behalf of the whole world. The whole planet even. And for people who don’t even speak the same language as me, nor believe in the same world that I do, nor live in the same reality. But my belief is strong, strong.
These days, I can feel all kinds of energies and spirits around me, leading and cheering me on to where I need to go. Sometimes, the cheeky buggers try to trip me up, because laughter, play and silliness are all part of it too. And we’ll find this out in the not-so-fun way if we do get overly serious and attached to this stuff. But overall, they know I’m alive for the healing of the nations, for the healing across realms, across lifetimes, across space and timelines, so there is a limit to what is directed my way in jest.
There is no spite at all, we’ve had enough of that. That era got burnt out in Part One, with the aid of some incredibly powerful guides, because universal law is not to be broken. The law of cause and effect is real, and consequences do unfold to every action we undertake. And this is important to note when coming into connections with others, because if we know we are healers, we don’t want to willingly entangle our energy and take on any karmic bonds (unresolved lessons) that are not ours. Soul ties and karmic debt are real.
It’s wise not to play with things that we don’t really overstand, however intelligent we believe ourselves to be. We must respect the living and we must respect the dead just the same, and we must not enter graveyards with the intention of disturbing the peace, nor of removing anything with a malevolent eye. Sidenote, I am not afraid of death. I’ve seen it, I’ve tasted it and I’ve smelt it - I walk alongside those fallen, those buried by the system and injustice, but they will find their peace soon enough.
But, without getting too intense for this short story, let’s set the scene for a fresh new chapter of life on the continent of Africa, shall we?
When I originally put my order into the universal pot a while ago, I asked for it to be sunny and hot, because this is how my vessel functions best (generally being a sun-seeking, sauna lover), and by gosh did she deliver. It was a scorcher when I initially made it to Kenya in 2024, third time lucky after two flight cancellations in 2020 and 2021, amidst all of the global bananarama. Hence the ‘diversion’ to Jamaica - which was actually a work research trip to do social media for a shroom company, explore ceremony , Rastafari culture and the Taíno connection (Arawak people), alongside voluntarily helping on a farm, but that soon went to shit after four months, due to the motivations (previously unfathomable) of others. Outstandingly beautiful place, though.
Anyway, with my skin slightly rosy within the first 24 hours on Kenyan soil, I knew I received that little sun sting as a punishment for not making it back in so long, my last visit being in 2019 to the special island of Zanzibar for a few weeks.
Quietly, I began to hear whispers from the ancestors of things that had already been seen across the realms, and felt in the distance long ago. Things that are now playing out in real time as I type. In fact, when I connected with one of the first sacred Baobabs since returning, nestled all gnarly and proud between Bahari ya Hindi (the Indian Ocean) and the mangroves, I heard a voice ask me - ‘What took you so long?’
I laughed, and knew this was the best decision I could have made for myself at that moment.
Jokes aside, shamanic initiations, soul retrieval and reparations after deep trauma take a while to repair themselves and cannot be rushed. Plus, Spirit works through things on the physical, mental and spiritual planes in very mysterious and miraculous ways, if we allow it.
The spiral path appears ever more clearly, but pulling ourselves out of pain and programming can certainly be lengthy and repetitive. I know I’ve had multiple moments of thinking, ‘for fuck sake, I’ve been here before’, but this time, it follows a dramatic frequency shift so that one can move ahead with an evolved state of consciousness, in order to upgrade to our chosen timeline. Evolve or repeat, they say.
Back in the day, we the people didn't usually realise it, because it hasn’t been fostered in Western culture (on purpose), but our whole body, identity and mind need periods of rest. And to be alone, at least for a bit. At least for a few months, even.
For long-lasting, life-changing work that can alter our (energetic) legacy on the planet, we don’t just need a weekend retreat, or a week offline - which are still seasonally beneficial, don’t get me wrong. But we need space to breathe and detach fully, to expand beyond what we’ve known and shed old versions of self. We can’t ascend higher without dissolving heavier density energies of shame, guilt and unaddressed issues.
And, seeing as time is non linear, and like many of us are experiencing right now, an extra special kind of weird, we simply must listen to what our soul tells us. It’s a language beyond time and space, and this is exactly where our soul lives. This is how we connect to our life’s true calling and heal the fragments of our essence across the ages.
At first, I didn’t really know how long I’d be in Kenya. I knew I had certain things to do, places to visit and souls to connect with - most importantly to nurture a relationship with and reverence for Bahari (the Ocean), alongside powerful elemental energies - but it was all a little abstract and overwhelming, as unknown spirits can arrive in our auric field very potently. So, I had to move slowly, ‘mwenda pole hajikwai’ (he who walks slowly, does not stumble).
Ancient wisdom is not rooted in words, after all.
It is in the air.
It is in the earth.
It is in the water.
It is in the fire.
It is Spirit.
Ether.
Infinite.
Silent.
Almighty.
Oneness.
Effortless.
Free.
And as we move into an age where we lean into living as energetic beings, we overstand that we’re unable to bring anything forth into our lives that we aren’t embodying in ourselves at present. With my desire to live in peace, alignment with nature and my highest good, I had to learn to match that vibration with the help of these new experiences, which oftentimes felt like they’d created some type of vortex around me - painful and purposeful in the same breath. It was a lot to feel for a sensitive being, to say the least.
I think this is why it’s been unusually challenging to learn swahili as much as I’d like to, being a linguist, because the first language I was requested to learn (yes, ordered by my guides), was that of the unseen realms. And, of course, continually building on telepathic practice - for those who know what I’m talking about, you’ll vouch for the concentration this can require.
Still, I came to the place I am living in because I got the call. I came because I’ve known the power of this land, long before the here and now. And I came to grow, share and play, in the ancient and the newness. As a healer, it was time for a level up, and with this in mind, I always ask myself:
‘In the remembrance of what’s been, what is and what will be - the merging of timelines and the collapse of an outdated paradigm - what is the true intention here? Is this only for personal gain, or the greater good as well?’
Yes, we have practical world responsibilities, but are our choices and actions reflecting love, self-empowerment, inclusivity and authentic, holistic living?
I really needed to distance myself from previously lived motivations that were once driven by constantly wanting and needing more - a delusional lack mentality bred in modern society that apparently leads to success and happiness - and to come back to our birthright of abundance, natural rhythm and simplicity.
For those of us who believe it, we are currently being called to our posts, to hold a frequency of love and justice wherever we find ourselves in the world. Mirror the frequency of truth and we receive loving and truthful (sometimes harsh) moments and relationships around us. Mirror the frequency of lies and deceit, and I trust you know what will arrive at your door.
A long time ago, I actively decided that I desire a higher quality of life for myself - and this will mean what it means to me, not to the viewpoint of another - and this involved changing the way I worked with the universal energies around me. I don’t wish this life to be at the expense of anything, or anyone else (especially those I hold dear to my heart), it’s more about how we each start to live within the realisation that everything is already here for us.
The magic.
The seasonality.
To rise with jua (sun).
To rest when it’s dark.
To move from our heart.
To shatter limitations.
Softly and quietly.
To live fully isn’t a spectacle, it’s a humbling. It’s a remembrance and it’s a knowing - knowing when to stop and take stock, and knowing when to move on up. We don’t need to make it harder for ourselves.
Wherever I find myself, I know this now, because I’ve mastered my mind. Correction, I’m mastering my mind - hashtag lifelong goals. And at present, my mind has been brought back to Africa.
Some people in my circle know it’s been a dream of mine to live on this continent, and now I’m realising that dream. Whatever others feel about this, is not my concern. In past times, most of us have often attributed our dreams to life after a job, retirement, post pension, and that it ‘should’ last for the rest of our days. Well, since my life got turned upside down and shaken about, I realise that time is an illusion and there’s never a right time, there’s just divine timing.
So, for however long or little we get, we’re alive and living now. And if we’re truly aligned with the divine, then time works in whatever ways it needs in order to bring the assigned mission into our reality, for the highest good of humanity.
There is absolutely no rush. We certainly can’t save the world, we can only save ourselves.
Gaia will naturally restore herself to balance however she needs. Some might say, as history has shown, but I’m not sure we’ve been where we’re going yet. Not physically, at least. Some of us may have seen things in the realms of our mind, awake or asleep.
But whatever is happening, we’re certainly ascending to a place our collective consciousness hasn’t been before in my lifetime, nor that of my parents - an elevated space where competition doesn’t exist and we can tap into knowledge that’s been waiting for us to arrive. A greater insight into the field, new quantum opportunities and innerstanding, alongside the dissolution of dominating patriarchal structures as the rise of an ever inclusive and loving matriarchy leads us forward - whale frequencies are floating around us strongly at present, especially if we’re beside the seashores.
Here, we’re reminded that intelligence is nothing without wisdom. And wisdom is nothing without compassion. And compassion doesn’t happen without healing our heart and living from a genuine higher vibration of an awakened heart chakra.
Here, no one is ahead or behind, and perfectionism is part of the old paradigm. We gently observe ourselves and our surroundings as we go, practicing surrender almost like a daily prayer. There is no striving, we do our best and that is more than good enough. Day by day, with focus, rest and love. Rinse and repeat.
As I’ve learned to keep things closer to my chest, I’ve been learning about life privately and sacredly on the coast of Kenya for a while now, and on a budget at that. The initial three months last year seemed to centre around a reconnection to the land and the sensory impact of this on my being, after such a long time away from this continent. Oh, and a final release of any lingering pain from what happened concerning trust, love, loyalty and integrity.
My shadow was definitely teased in ways that I’ve now got a much better handle on, which was needed and has, in turn, positively contributed to my health and living, as I’ve recently been tested with a few incidents and interactions that have required more spiritual and emotional maturity from my side, for sure.
I got to see the highlights of inner city South B Nairobi dwelling for a bit - with Ndengu (lentils), different versions of Dawa (a medicinal juice, sometimes with sugarcane, lime, aloe vera, turmeric, ginger and even garlic) and Uji Power (millet porridge) being particular consumable perks for me - even though I don’t consider myself a city gyal anymore. And I’ve danced to Umojah Sound System and Lavosti a few times, vibrating their conscious beats loud and proud in the name of the healing of the nations - music is an unparalleled power. Sidenote, be very mindful of what you’re listening to, not all music is here for the empowerment of our soul.
Ok, Ok…there was a moment when I did do the tourist thing, briefly, I admit. The beauties at the Giraffe Centre just couldn't keep me away, and I had my very first encounter with a pride of lions, sitting in front of a rainbow, on the eve of a full moon in Nairobi National Park with a very kind soul, which was otherworldly indeed. I’ve bathed in the sounds and flickering sunshine through the myriad of branches in the stunning Karura Forest, watching the waterfall and listening deep inside the Mau Mau Caves. And I had a fantastic guide take me around part of the sacred land in Arabuko Sokoke National Reserve for my 40th, which was ethereal.
The lovely Madaraka Express train (I do love a good choo-choo ride) connects the city to the coast easily, so I’ve spent time drawing and staring in awe at Tsavo elephants and other beasts roaming and telling their stories as I pass through this majestic landscape, dotted with a stunning network of Baobabs as far as the eye can see - trees (beings) that have been growing for hundreds and thousands of years.
My mind is consistently blown every time I pass by, or meet one, and get to feel their brilliance. Some might say I’m extra, which probably isn’t far-fetched, but as I said earlier, living our truth isn’t for show and if I get drawn to something, or to express myself in a particular way, I have absolutely zero problem in doing that. And I trust that collectively we’re being encouraged to do this on a greater scale than ever before.
In terms of staying local, as an adopted ‘coastarian’ some might say, there was a moment when I did have an unforeseen trip back to the UK, for a variety of reasons including energetic work, so I left for a short while. But everything catches up with itself sooner or later.
This time round, the unfolding of life seems more wholesome, embodied and gentle. I feel rooted in a purpose bigger than me, and I’m flowing into the unknown in a way I don’t believe I’ve had the courage or trust to act with before. I just didn’t know myself enough.
Back on this rich, fertile land once again, among the people, I’m finding things out about the tribes, listening to upepo (the wind) through the leaves as I write, and learning all about soggy, mvua kubwa (rainy) season. I feel rejuvenated and renewed, and thankfully there are still sunny days to be had during the downpours, otherwise I’d probably be crying and not typing right now.
My Queen Hara and singing bowl family have been out to play here, sharing their loving frequencies with some dear folk I’ve met, from all walks of life and global origins. I’ve also been witness to the full spectrum of light and dark activity too, which I can only be grateful for, as I’ve come in truth and the truth of the land is slowly revealing herself to me as well.
I’m ever merging with the water; watching children have fun in the waves; speaking what I need to daily; spending days in silence; reading more of Malidoma Patrice Some’; dancing to music; living in love; and generally observing the lay of the land. I sometimes go up into the hills, or visit the mangroves and surrounds to gain a different perspective of nature, and I give thanks for having had the chance to acquire a new skill set through attending a course on natural building with earthbags, Super Adobe, mentioned in the latest newsletter.
After connecting with a nearby community last year, who are committed to restoring the mweria (rotational labour) on their land, I’m occasionally visiting to see how the families prep, plant, and grow together, whilst exchanging goods without the use of money.
To spend time among the matriarchy, sometimes between 10-20 elder women (and a few men), has been a very special experience for me, as I always loved being with my nan and her two best friends as a young girl. There’s an unspoken respect and deep intimacy that flows among the company and daily work of earthly wise women, and it’s quite irreplaceable.
This is also happening with a sweet dada (sister) or two here, as I find sisterhood incredibly powerful, previously running women’s circles as part of my soul’s work, and overcoming unnecessary challenges with other women (ex-bosses, colleagues, old friends and contacts) from my past. Sidenote, I’m not a victim in any way, I take accountability for my unevolved self for the unhealed part she played, but I’ve always been a truthful, pure heart and never been one for competition or jealousy among ladies, but sadly this is what festers in certain sectors of society and what I’ve personally experienced.
Today, creativity is bubbling beautifully, with local artistic, musical and even gastronomic expression laying the foundation for blissful interactions and magic among the people, across a variety of great venues - with talented musicians and fresh bands such as Kato Change, Michel Ongaro (a highly skilled blind multi-instrumentalist who sings in different languages, even ‘Aicha’ which took me back a few years), Wakake (a powerful percussionist), African Vibration (traditional African rhythms with modern influence) and The Vibe International (rootsy Rastafari vibrations and Giriama spice) filling the air with sweet traditional riddim and upful melody. Even my sketching, poetry and dancing are raising me to new levels of joy and childish innocence.
In terms of the wellness space that I’ve worked in before now, and elsewhere, it’s been interesting to get involved in some of the healthy local activities and observe healing traditions around sound, cleansing, spiritual protection and also natural herbal remedies with regionally grown plants like moringa, kilifi leaves (neem) for tea, baobab fruit (high in vitamin c, for example), pine needle and delicious spiced chai, among other things. Local honey, for me, has always been one of the ways I connect with the land, as it contains incredible plant energy, codes and medicine. I’ve even found a few nettles to forage here as well.
With the responsibility and love I hold for the field of work I’ve moved into over the past five years, with end of life doula care, ceremony and spiritual health at the core, I’m currently observing (non-judgementally) what’s evolving consciously on the ground, but in the same breath, hearing conversations around how the West might be regarded as impacting the continent with new-age interpretations of spirituality and foreign plant medicine journeys, as well. Like:
‘Are some of us bringing a wounded (and potentially privileged) Western perspective of healing here, and tainting a mindset that already has its own innate wisdom, remedy and wellness practices? Are modern, new services even affordable and accessible to the local Kenyan community?’
I certainly don’t pretend to have all the answers around this, but communication is key and as an active witness and participant in the expansion of consciousness today, I strongly believe that the real medicine is already present and of this land, not another. I know, personally, I’m not seen as a luxury brand (that wasn’t part of my mission statement when I created VWellness), but my work and research are high quality and real - and right now, the real needs the real, no masks. All in all, I trust that the healing of the nations will unfold in whatever way it needs to, for our betterment and in tender, loving, care of the people - Spirit is always watching.
I haven’t visited too far and wide yet, because at the end of the day, it really does take time, money and sincere effort to know a place, doesn’t it? To feel the spirits and energy of the land by oneself, at first, and later with the loving support of genuine new connections - spiritual contracts and partnerships already ordained by a higher power.
Time reveals everything, and our personal faith and devotion to life may be the only true motivators that can move us ahead with gusto, and support us in elevating higher into our creative potential right now. Don’t miss the moment.
Time to come together.
Time to choose YOU.
Nakupenda, Kenya.
Ubuntu, forever.
☾Soul Radiance𖤓
‘Si lazima kuzimia taa ya mwenzio ili yako ionekane’
It’s not necessary to blow out another person’s lantern to let yours shine
-
VWellness Mission Statement: To inspire and support myself, and those around me, to be the best version of ourselves, living with intention, in total self freedom, curiosity, openness, and love over fear.
This piece has been written for our collective spiritual health, awareness and to radiate love across the airwaves. If you have a question, please email me and it would be my pleasure to answer it if I’m able to. Thanks for stopping by, if you’ve read this far.🧚👁🪶
